OK, Where to start? What to write? How to write? I am very nervous --- I have never "blogged" before but thought it might be therapeutic to start. (Note: I first tried to start this on 8/23 but it is now 10/30 when I am finally posting.)
Not sure where to begin but here I go with my very first post. Here goes! I am not in a good spot right now in my life. I have not been this unhappy in a long time. I try to hide it, I try to ignore it but I can not help but realize that I am unhappy. I have a job that stinks, a manager that is as awful as they come and I have not been successful yet in over 2 1/2 of TTC #1. I want a new job but there are none where I live. I want to move but I can't because my husband just started a new job that he really likes a few months ago. I want to have my happy ending but I cant because my body will not work right. I am determined however to continue to meddle my way through this cruel journey of work despair and IF. I WILL find a new job eventually (hopefully before I go crazy) and I WILL continue IF treatments and I WILL have hope that my happy ending will be here!!! I am thankful that my parents instilled determination in my brain -- determination and hope are what get me through each day!!
Infertility is cruel. It is as simple as that. It is not fair. I know life is not fair but when will the cruelty stop? That is the question I have in my head right now and it is haunting me more than I ever imagined.
I just want to add amidst all this unhappiness, I do have a wonderful and supportive husband and we will be celebrating our 7th anniversary this weekend. = )
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