Weekend Rambling

What's new this weekend?

 • we booked our vacation to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We are going to a resort in Florida and then to Disney for 2 nights. I am very excited. We are taking our little guy with us as we do not trust either of our parents with him for that long. The resort we are going to has a baby club so there is "daycare" if we want to do something ourselves for an afternoon and they have babysitting at night. I read a lot of great reviews before deciding to go foward. It will all depend on his separation anxiety whether we will be able to actually use this service but at least it is available. And I will want to meet the caretakers before leaving him with anyone. He is a little young for Disney but we LOVE Disney so we thought he might enjoy animal kingdom as he really likes animals. There will be a pool at our hotel too.

 • almost one week down and another to go before we will know if this cycle worked. I am keeping my fingers crossed but am not hopeful. I am not feeling much of anything. Although I know it is still early, I recall feeling I will call it a little different when it has worked. I know all cycles are different so I am trying not to lose all hope just yet. I almost bought hpts yesterday but refrained. I know I will poas but am not sure when. I always have the best intentions of not poas but I know myself better than that. Like a broken record to myself, I keep saying if this does not work, we will try again.

 • my dh has been asked to interview with a company in the south. I have been wanting to move for quite a while and hopefully all goes well here. If things are to work out, it will be a busy time. Not getting too excited just yet but it is fun to dream!

 • our little guy turned 16 months a week ago. I think he finally reached 23 pounds. Not sure how tall he is. His eating is still not great but he is trying a few more table foods. He really likes mashed potatoes! He still mostly eats purees from the pouches but we are working on this. I think he is just going to be a picky eater like I was. He is doing well with almost everything else (except napping) so I try not to worry too much. I am looking into supplementing his diet with vitamins. We are almost home from our errands. Happy Sunday! Have a great week.

Now we wait!

Yes, the dreaded 2WW.  Yesterday was my IUI.  At my ultrasound last Friday, I had 4 eggies in the running with 2 others that were not too far behind (and lots of other little ones).  14 days until my beta if we make it that far - I think previously if it did not work, I would start spotting about 11 or 12dpiui.  I just have to figure out how to keep myself busy & not think about it ALL THE TIME!  I start progesterone this weekend so I know that will play games with my mind too.  I wish it were possible to know immediately but I know it is not!  I have to be patient & just relax.  If it does not work, we will try again.

I have been thinking about how long we will try before we would come to the conclusion a second child is not in the cards for us.  With my 40th birthday later this year, this has been weighing heavily on my mind.  I do not like thinking about it as I feel like I am giving up already when I think about it but at the same time, I realize we can not do this forever.  We have our beautiful son and I can not let TTC #2 take away from taking in every moment of him growing up.   My thoughts are we at least TTC through the end of this year and then talk about how much further we want to go.  Here's to hoping we are lucky this year - here to REALLY hoping that we are lucky in two weeks!

Cycle Update

It looks like our IUI is tentatively set for Monday the 20th! I had an ultrasound this morning and I think I still have a good amount of eggies.  I usually do not ask how many! I will worry myself too much if I know too many details.  It prevents me from googling too much! I go back for another u/s tomorrow (and will ask how many), and will take ganiralex most likely tomorrow & saturday morning, and then trigger on Saturday night.  My RE is a single practitioner and does not do procedures on Sundays (I think when I was TTC#1, after many BFNs and our two early losses, there was one time he might have done one on Sunday had I needed it but it turned out I did not).  That is the only bad thing about having a doctor who is a single practitioner as there is not someone else to do procedures on Sundays.  And I know truly it is probably hard working 6 days a week already so I try not to stress about it.  But with spending all this money on medication & everything (since my insurance coverage is minimal), it is hard at the same time!  So, we shall see what happens!  I am crossing my fingers that we are successful this cycle!  I have to admit though I do not remember having so many appointments when we doing IUIs last time.  Today was my third appointment so in total, this cycle I will have 5 appointments.  I am sure it is normal but I just do not remember it being that many.  I guess in the past some have fallen on a Saturday so I probably did not pay attention as it did not interfere with work. 

My dr is over an hour away from my house and then a half hour to work so I am struggling with how to manage it with work.  I am able to get into work about 9/9:30 and try to work through my lunches & stay as late as possible, but with having Aaron now, I want to get home to spend a little time with him as our time at night during the week is limited as it is.  I told a co-worker at work about what we are going through and she has been great!  She has one son (she struggled with infertility / miscarriage but was able to have her son naturally.  They decided not to pursue treatments.)  It is very helpful to have a friend at work who understands even though she has not experienced the treatment part.  But she knows the pain / stress of the time it can take to get pregnant! 

I have decided to kind of tell my manager.  I have been trying to keep it on the low down as he is very flexible with hours but I do not think I have much of a choice especially if this cycle does not work.  I am going to keep my conversation generic.  I feel weird as I told him today I needed to talk to him but we never had a chance to.  I think he thinks I have a life or death condition.  I did not mean to lead him down the wrong path.  I was just trying to get a few minutes to explain.  He will not be in the office tomorrow either so I will just let my co-worker know my schedule for Monday and tell him when I get into the office after the IUI.  In the end as long as I get my work done, hopefully everything will be OK! 

I should get going to clean up the house a little before my DH & little boy get home.  My in-laws are coming over for the weekend.  I have not seen my boys since Tuesday morning as I was at a conference the last two nights!  I am very excited to see them!

Finally....

AF is here after a very long 98 day cycle! I am sitting in the car while my little guy naps so I thought I would write a short post. He fell asleep on the way home after swim class/grocery shopping & lunch. And has been napping for almost 2 hours. Woo hoo! He was in need of a good nap especially since we are getting pictures done at JC pennny's a little later today. Looks like I will go in on Tuesday or Wednesday for my baseline u/s and if everyhing looks good, start the injects this week. I am very excited & so is my DH. We are both a little nervous but we hope we can get pg again & have a sibling for our little guy! One of the hardest things this past week has been all of the pg/birth announcements. I am very very very happy for everyone. I found myself being a little nervous that it might not happen again for us. I know I am blessed to have my little boy but it made me sad thinking about the possibility of not being able to get pg again. I guess starting treatments again is bringing back some similar but different IF feelings. And then I feel guilty on top of that, feeling like I should not feel this way because I am so lucky to have my little boy. I just hope & pray we are successful again with having another miracle! Hope is what will get me through this again! I just have to remind myself to stay hopeful!!

Going to Bed Sleep Regression

The last three nights have been a little rough with going to bed in our household.  My little guy started three nights ago screaming when I put him in his crib.  For months now, he has been going to bed around 745/8 like clockwork and putting himself to sleep within 5-10 minutes.  We have been very very lucky.  All of the sudden on Monday night, we did our normal thing and at 8pm, I went to lay him down and he screamed.  I am not a fan of the CIO method (this is just my opinion and I do not judge anyone who does use this method as I know it can work for some) so after several attempts and 11pm rolling around, we decided to let him sleep in our bed.  (I am actually not a big fan of this either as I do not sleep well in fear he will roll off of it or that we will roll onto him.)  But feeling a little desperate to get him some sleep, we let him sleep in our bed.  I did not get much sleep and prayed the next night would be better!  Well, come 8pm the next night, we tried our routine again and no such luck.  He was whining a bit and after talking with a friend, it got me thinking that maybe it is his first year molars that bothering him so we gave him a little Tylenol and within 20-30 minutes, he fell asleep on his tiger stuff animal.  I was able to get him to his crib without waking him up & he slept through the night.   So I had hoped after successfully sleeping there that night, tonight would be better.  No such luck.  I got home from work late and my DH had already tried once unsuccessfully to get him in his crib.  I tried again with no luck when I got home and then I tried sitting next to his crib (he just stayed standing & cried.)  Then I tried rocking him & that seemed to relax him.  When he felt relaxed enough, I laid him down & walked out of the room. My DH said 5 minutes and although I am not a fan of the CIO method, I decided to be OK with 5 minutes.  He screamed for about 3, whimpered for a few more and finally went to sleep around 930.

Just not sure what to do going forward. I know we need to come up with a better routine.  Our old one is not working anymore.  Do you have any routines that work for you to share?  Any BTDT experiences to share?  I am all ears!  I feel bad for my little guy more than anything because if this goes on for too long, he is just going to become more over-tired.

We have an appt on Friday with a nurse to get the 2nd part of his flu shot & to get him weighed (he had dropped quite a bit %age wise at his last wellness check) so we are keeping an eye on his weight.  So I am going to see if the nurse can help us tell if it is his molars!  Maybe that will answer it for us....

Off to bed I go to get some sleep.  Good night!

PS.  Still no AF.  Had some bloodwork done today and will hopefully get the results back tomorrow as well as a plan going forward.  I am thinking it will be another round of provera but we shall see what the dr has to say tomorrow.