My DH had his SA today and we actually received the results this evening (via email, unfortunately. A little annoyed they sent it without calling.) Like my normal self, I freaked a bit and then my DH calmed me down. His count is considered lower than normal and his morphology is severely abnormal (which we already knew). We have been talking about whether to do one last IUI cycle or move on to IVF. My clinic starts IVF cycles at certain times and the cycle times that make most sense for us start at the end of April or mid-May. With that being said, we have decided to try to squeeze in one last IUI cycle. My little guy is from our decision to do one last IUI in early 2010 and so I am H&P that we have the same success we did 3 years ago. I know it is a little geeky, but I studied our 2 successful cycles versus our BFN cycles and noticed that we started stims on CD5 instead of earlier so I am going to ask to do the same here. And with the last two cycles, we have tried different meds so I am going to ask to use Gonal F (as it is most similar to Follistim, used in our cycles with our old RE in Michigan. My current RE does not use follistim.) Hopefully my RE will be open to a) doing another IUI cycle and b) working with me to start on CD5 and using Gonal F. There is one other RE clinic in the area that I could talk to if my RE is not willing to work with me on this. I like my RE (except annoyed today we did not receive a call) so I would prefer to stay with him. We shall see. I really would love to be able to go back to my RE in Michigan but they are a little far!! I just have a gut feeling my RE is going to try to persuade me to go to IVF directly with the SA results. I need to stick to my gut feeling and go with what we think is best. We shall see!! Waiting for AF to show. I think she will show this weekend as I think I may have ovulated on my own -- but I have been wrong on this before. If AF does not show by CD35 (next Friday), I will start provera. Hoping I will not have to though and we will be on our way soon.
The scary thing about all of this is that I *know* we probably only have 2, maybe 3 chances left in our TTC journey. IUI, IVF and possibly FET if we were to have frozen embies remaining and IUI / IVF do not work. It is scary to think about this and I am trying to be as positive as I can be. The harsh reality is they might not work. I am working on thinking positively and not worrying about this until this bridge needs to be crossed but it is possibly closer than we think. I am just H&P we make it to the path of pregnancy & do not need to go down this road EVER. Why oh Why does this have to be so hard!!!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
One Year Ago Today / Small Update
One year ago today was my IUI that brought us our sweet angel. It is so hard to believe that it has been a year. And quite the year it has been. I miss my little boy more than words can say. I have come a long way since June of last year. As much as it is so unfair that we lost him and how I would so much rather have him here with us, I am so very thankful for the short time we were able to spend together. He has definitely helped me to be a better and more compassionate person. Although it has not started out as we had hoped, I am hoping that 2013 is less of a roller-coaster and that we are able to expand our family.
We are still trying to decide what our next steps are going to be but my DH is finally ready to get his SA done next week to check his counts. I brought up the SA last night and my DH got all stressed out about it. In retrospect, I probably should have waited to ask him as it was later in the evening and I had just gotten home from my support group. I am always emotional after my support group. After talking last night, I thought we were pretty much on the path to take another cycle off. However, today my DH apologized for reacting the way he did and would like to move forward with getting the SA done next week. I am going to call in the morning to make an appointment. I told him I did not want to pressure him but my body clock is ticking really loud. I told him I want us to be on the same page so even if we get the SA done next week, we can still decide it is best to take another cycle off. Although I really do not want to! So, we shall see. At least my DH being ready for his SA is a small step forward. Here's hoping that his counts are strong enough to do one more IUI!! If not, IVF here we come!
We are still trying to decide what our next steps are going to be but my DH is finally ready to get his SA done next week to check his counts. I brought up the SA last night and my DH got all stressed out about it. In retrospect, I probably should have waited to ask him as it was later in the evening and I had just gotten home from my support group. I am always emotional after my support group. After talking last night, I thought we were pretty much on the path to take another cycle off. However, today my DH apologized for reacting the way he did and would like to move forward with getting the SA done next week. I am going to call in the morning to make an appointment. I told him I did not want to pressure him but my body clock is ticking really loud. I told him I want us to be on the same page so even if we get the SA done next week, we can still decide it is best to take another cycle off. Although I really do not want to! So, we shall see. At least my DH being ready for his SA is a small step forward. Here's hoping that his counts are strong enough to do one more IUI!! If not, IVF here we come!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Three Years Ago Today
Three years ago today we found out we were officially pregnant with our little guy! As much as I am struggling now with TTC and adding to our family, thinking about my little guy makes me smile so much!! My pregnancy, especially the beginning, was a roller coaster and I am so thankful for him every day!! I could not imagine my life without him. He brings so much sunshine to my life and I could not have made it through the last year without him. I hope and pray that he knows every day how much I love him! His one amazing little boy!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Struggling
I am struggling with what to do? I know that this is a personal decision that no one else can make for us but if you have any guidance or advice on questions to ask the dr or myself while deciding, I am open ears!!
We had our STBU appt on Monday. It went as I had expected with my RE recommending IVF - however, he did add on a surprise in that he thinks we should do PGD due to our ages and our history. He will not try to persuade us against another IUI/Injectable cycle as it has worked for us in the past - but he did remind me that the chances decrease with age and the low counts we have seen the last two cycles. He did say he thought we should only do one more. We briefly talked about embryo adoption but he did not think we should go there yet. I am not sure though that I made it clear that if we do ivf, it is our last chance. There will be no other chance unless we have frozen embies.
I just do not know what to do. Do we do another Iui & if it doesn't work, that will have been $ we could have used for ivf? Do we do ivf with my own eggs which is much more expensive than iui at a success rate of 20-25% for my age (versus I think less than 10% for an IUI)? Do we do PGD? Or do we look at embryo adoption, which is slightly less expensive than ivf with a slightly higher success rate? Donor eggs are pretty much out of the question as we can not afford it. We will be stretching ourselves with IVF if we do decide to go that route. And if we do IVF, I am leaning towards not doing PGD with the extra expense that would add. I need to read more on it though.
I have tried in my mind to start a pro's and con's list. Please let me know if you think I am missing anything as this is just the beginning of what is in my tired brain tonight.
IUI:
Pro: Less expensive.
Con: Less chance of success
IVF:
Pro: Higher success rate than IUI. Possible frozen embies to work with if this does not work (we had 2 last time.)
Con: Much more expensive so question here is the expense worth the slightly higher success rate?? Success rate at my age only 20-25%.
EA:
Pro: Higher success rate than IVF with own eggs.
Con: Expensive as well. These are embies that someone decided not to use. No genetic relationship, which I wonder if it worked if it would be a problem in the long run with a DS who is genetically related and a child who is not?
I think about this constantly throughout the day. But I guess that we should have my DH do the SA again and go from there. He probably will not be able to do until the end of the month, which seems like an eternity. Ugh!! I hope time goes by fast!! I am already going crazy on this break!
We had our STBU appt on Monday. It went as I had expected with my RE recommending IVF - however, he did add on a surprise in that he thinks we should do PGD due to our ages and our history. He will not try to persuade us against another IUI/Injectable cycle as it has worked for us in the past - but he did remind me that the chances decrease with age and the low counts we have seen the last two cycles. He did say he thought we should only do one more. We briefly talked about embryo adoption but he did not think we should go there yet. I am not sure though that I made it clear that if we do ivf, it is our last chance. There will be no other chance unless we have frozen embies.
I just do not know what to do. Do we do another Iui & if it doesn't work, that will have been $ we could have used for ivf? Do we do ivf with my own eggs which is much more expensive than iui at a success rate of 20-25% for my age (versus I think less than 10% for an IUI)? Do we do PGD? Or do we look at embryo adoption, which is slightly less expensive than ivf with a slightly higher success rate? Donor eggs are pretty much out of the question as we can not afford it. We will be stretching ourselves with IVF if we do decide to go that route. And if we do IVF, I am leaning towards not doing PGD with the extra expense that would add. I need to read more on it though.
I have tried in my mind to start a pro's and con's list. Please let me know if you think I am missing anything as this is just the beginning of what is in my tired brain tonight.
IUI:
Pro: Less expensive.
Con: Less chance of success
IVF:
Pro: Higher success rate than IUI. Possible frozen embies to work with if this does not work (we had 2 last time.)
Con: Much more expensive so question here is the expense worth the slightly higher success rate?? Success rate at my age only 20-25%.
EA:
Pro: Higher success rate than IVF with own eggs.
Con: Expensive as well. These are embies that someone decided not to use. No genetic relationship, which I wonder if it worked if it would be a problem in the long run with a DS who is genetically related and a child who is not?
I think about this constantly throughout the day. But I guess that we should have my DH do the SA again and go from there. He probably will not be able to do until the end of the month, which seems like an eternity. Ugh!! I hope time goes by fast!! I am already going crazy on this break!
Sunday, February 3, 2013
First Decision
Unless our STBU appointment somehow changes my mind drastically tomorrow, I am 99% sure we will be taking a cycle break. As much as it sucks, and as much as I know I will go crazy during the time, I truly believe it to the best decision.
* It will allow me to address this stupid rash/allergy that I have and do not know what it causing it. Who knows if this could be impacting my body's ability to get pregnant? Hopefully the dermatologist appointment on Tuesday will start to shed some light and help me work on this.
* It will allow my DH to have an SA done to see what is going on there. I was reading my clinic's pre-reqs to doing IVF and a SA with critical morphology needs to have been done in the past year and we have not had this done so if we do go the IVF route, this item could then be checked off our list.
* A sonohysterogram and HSG are required as well. I have never had the SHG done so I will ask my RE tomorrow if I should. At our appointment in November, he said I did not need to re-do an HSG because I had got pregnant earlier in the year so hopefully they will wave this requirement. But if the SHG is needed, maybe I can get it done soon too.
* Maybe I can even lose a few pounds over the next 6-8 weeks (which is usually how long my cycle is with the help of provera.) This is not an easy task with how little time I have to exercise. But I can try!
And hopefully, last but not least, taking a break will allow me to emotionally recover from the last two failed cycles. I need to get that feeling of hope back before moving forward. That's the plan so far!!
* It will allow me to address this stupid rash/allergy that I have and do not know what it causing it. Who knows if this could be impacting my body's ability to get pregnant? Hopefully the dermatologist appointment on Tuesday will start to shed some light and help me work on this.
* It will allow my DH to have an SA done to see what is going on there. I was reading my clinic's pre-reqs to doing IVF and a SA with critical morphology needs to have been done in the past year and we have not had this done so if we do go the IVF route, this item could then be checked off our list.
* A sonohysterogram and HSG are required as well. I have never had the SHG done so I will ask my RE tomorrow if I should. At our appointment in November, he said I did not need to re-do an HSG because I had got pregnant earlier in the year so hopefully they will wave this requirement. But if the SHG is needed, maybe I can get it done soon too.
* Maybe I can even lose a few pounds over the next 6-8 weeks (which is usually how long my cycle is with the help of provera.) This is not an easy task with how little time I have to exercise. But I can try!
And hopefully, last but not least, taking a break will allow me to emotionally recover from the last two failed cycles. I need to get that feeling of hope back before moving forward. That's the plan so far!!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Wish I had better news - BFN
* Edited *
AF arrived bright and early this morning. Even though I knew she was coming, the finality of it all stings!! Ugh! So, now the question is What next? Do we do another IUI/Injectable cycle? Do we take a break? Do we puruse IVF? Are my eggs too old for IVF to be successful? Should we look at donor eggs or embryo adoption? We really cant afford IVF, donor eggs or embryo adoption but I think we could find a way. If we could only sell our house, then it would be easier! Praying our house sells soon!!
I have a STBU appointment with my RE on Monday afternoon. I hope to go through all of our options. My DH can not be there so I need to take good notes. I have a list of questions to ask as well. I am thinking the most logical (not necessarily the most preferred) plan for us is to take a cycle off, do another SA and hope that another SA will tell us if my DH's lower counts the last two cycles is the new norm or not. If it is the new norm, then that might lead us to IVF, donor eggs or embryo adoption. If it is not, then we might be able to do another IUI/injectables cycle. I am thinking a break might also be best to give me a little time to address my eczema and allergy issues. Maybe the eczema is telling me that my body just needs a break. I have a dermatologist appointment on Tuesday to address this hopefully. I just wish my body clock was not ticking so loudly!! It is so hard knowing that time is not on my side.
I am feeling a little sad, a little confused and a little out of the norm with not having a plan. I do so much better having a plan. I am interested to hear what my RE has to say on Monday. Part of me wonders if we should seek a 2nd opinion at the other RE office in town. When I look at the SART detail, they have lower success rates -- but the other 4 women in my Resolve Group all go there. Hmmmm! Guess we will be making some decisions in the next few days!!
AF arrived bright and early this morning. Even though I knew she was coming, the finality of it all stings!! Ugh! So, now the question is What next? Do we do another IUI/Injectable cycle? Do we take a break? Do we puruse IVF? Are my eggs too old for IVF to be successful? Should we look at donor eggs or embryo adoption? We really cant afford IVF, donor eggs or embryo adoption but I think we could find a way. If we could only sell our house, then it would be easier! Praying our house sells soon!!
I have a STBU appointment with my RE on Monday afternoon. I hope to go through all of our options. My DH can not be there so I need to take good notes. I have a list of questions to ask as well. I am thinking the most logical (not necessarily the most preferred) plan for us is to take a cycle off, do another SA and hope that another SA will tell us if my DH's lower counts the last two cycles is the new norm or not. If it is the new norm, then that might lead us to IVF, donor eggs or embryo adoption. If it is not, then we might be able to do another IUI/injectables cycle. I am thinking a break might also be best to give me a little time to address my eczema and allergy issues. Maybe the eczema is telling me that my body just needs a break. I have a dermatologist appointment on Tuesday to address this hopefully. I just wish my body clock was not ticking so loudly!! It is so hard knowing that time is not on my side.
I am feeling a little sad, a little confused and a little out of the norm with not having a plan. I do so much better having a plan. I am interested to hear what my RE has to say on Monday. Part of me wonders if we should seek a 2nd opinion at the other RE office in town. When I look at the SART detail, they have lower success rates -- but the other 4 women in my Resolve Group all go there. Hmmmm! Guess we will be making some decisions in the next few days!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)