I think we have a plan

My DH had his SA today and we actually received the results this evening (via email, unfortunately.  A little annoyed they sent it without calling.)  Like my normal self, I freaked a bit and then my DH calmed me down.  His count is considered lower than normal and his morphology is severely abnormal (which we already knew).  We have been talking about whether to do one last IUI cycle or move on to IVF.  My clinic starts IVF cycles at certain times and the cycle times that make most sense for us start at the end of April or mid-May.  With that being said, we have decided to try to squeeze in one last IUI cycle.  My little guy is from our decision to do one last IUI in early 2010 and so I am H&P that we have the same success we did 3 years ago.  I know it is a little geeky, but I studied our 2 successful cycles versus our BFN cycles and noticed that we started stims on CD5 instead of earlier so I am going to ask to do the same here.  And with the last two cycles, we have tried different meds so I am going to ask to use Gonal F (as it is most similar to Follistim, used in our cycles with our old RE in Michigan.  My current RE does not use follistim.)  Hopefully my RE will be open to a) doing another IUI cycle and b) working with me to start on CD5 and using Gonal F.  There is one other RE clinic in the area that I could talk to if my RE is not willing to work with me on this.  I like my RE (except annoyed today we did not receive a call) so I would prefer to stay with him.  We shall see.  I really would love to be able to go back to my RE in Michigan but they are a little far!!  I just have a gut feeling my RE is going to try to persuade me to go to IVF directly with the SA results.  I need to stick to my gut feeling and go with what we think is best.  We shall see!!  Waiting for AF to show.  I think she will show this weekend as I think I may have ovulated on my own -- but I have been wrong on this before.  If AF does not show by CD35 (next Friday), I will start provera.  Hoping I will not have to though and we will be on our way soon.

The scary thing about all of this is that I *know* we probably only have 2, maybe 3 chances left in our TTC journey.   IUI, IVF and possibly FET if we were to have frozen embies remaining and IUI / IVF do not work.  It is scary to think about this and I am trying to be as positive as I can be.  The harsh reality is they might not work.  I am working on thinking positively and not worrying about this until this bridge needs to be crossed but it is possibly closer than we think.  I am just H&P we make it to the path of pregnancy & do not need to go down this road EVER.  Why oh Why does this have to be so hard!!!