Holy smokes, Baby Dude is four weeks old. Time is flying. Baby dude is growing, growing and growing some more. I must admit that the last few days have been trying for me. Baby Dude seems to be going through a growth spurt and besides being hungry all the time, is very fussy all the time as well! And he still has his days/night mixed up. I find myself going through all the questions/methods to try to soothe him with little success - does he need a diaper change, is he hungry, is he hot, is he cold, does he need to burp etc etc. He does not burp very easily so this is a tough one.
From the BTDT moms, any advice on methods that have worked for you to sooth a crying, fussy baby? Any advice would be great!! I went through everything today and he would not stop! I put him down for a moment and called my husband at work in tears because I did not know what to do. I went a little while without feeling like I had the Baby Blues anymore and between yesterday/today I have broken down into tears again a few times. My DH knows how to calm me down so it just helped to talk for a moment. We talked and the one thing I had not tried yet was a car ride. However, After I got off the phone and before I went for a car ride, I breathed deeply and went through the questions again. I ended up playing with him (showing him all my stuffed animals or what I call his zoo friends) for a little while until he cried again and then I walked him around the house until he finally fell asleep. If this had not worked, I would have tried the car ride.
I feel horrible when I can not figure out what he is trying to tell me and when I can not soothe him. My heart breaks when he just cries & cries and I can not figure out why. I am searching for better ways to soothe him. Right now, I barely have any time to spend reading or looking on the intranet, so I thought I would ask for BTDT advice.
In addition to this, B/F is still not going well and I tried to contact the one LC I could find within a half hour of my house and she never called me back. Part of living in the boonies. After this LC, I could only find ones that were an hour away. I need to decide whether I should drive this distance to continue on the breastfeeing path. I am leaning towards giving up on B/F and to add to my stress from the above, I feel like a complete failure making this decision. I know I shouldn't and I know formula is just fine for my little guy -- but there is a deep down feeling of failure on my part. I know all of my stress is probably not helping either so I need to figure out how to minimize my stress.....
Honey, every mom has been there. It does get better!!! I promise you. I had times where DH would get home and I'd be rocking Noah and I'd just STARE at DH with this evil glare because I'd been comforting a fussy baby ALL DAY LONG.
ReplyDeleteHave you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? 5 S's: swaddling, sucking, "shhhh"-ing (really loud in his ear, or turn on the hair dryer... it has to be really loud), swinging (bouncing, jiggling), and... oh man I can't think of the last one. OH, side lying. Not lying on his back. I used to just swaddle Noah, turn him sideways in my arms, put his soother in and smush the soother between his face and my arm (nicely:) so it wouldn't fall out, and jiggle around like crazy SSSHHHHHHHing in his ear and it worked everytime. He would fall right to sleep. Swaddle really tight.
BFing can be really hard in the beginning. I actually remember it being harder when Noah was around 4 weeks than when he was a newborn. Seriously, if you have any questions about it AT ALL (since the LC isn't calling you back) feel free to email me. I'm not an expert but I exclusively BFed Noah for 6.5 months and still pretty much exclusively BF him now and he's 8 months old (he just gets solids at night). I went through periods where I just wanted to give up and give him a bottle, but I made it through. So if there's ANYTHING I could help you with I would love to. Please, feel free!! My email is lauren_farina@hotmail.com
I want to write more but I'm 15 minutes past Noah's bedtime and I need to get going. But I just wanted to write to you right away because I feel bad for you and I wanted you to know that this is totally normal!!!! (((HUGS)))
So many ((hugs)). I don't have any advice, but I'm so sorry it is going so tough right now. Sounds like the pp had some great ideas.
ReplyDeleteHe is adorable and I love that he's telling you how old he is!!
I don't really have any advice (though I am reading Happiest Baby on the Block as recommended above but obviously don't have any hand's on experience with it yet) but I still wanted to send hugs and love your way. I also wanted to tell you he's just the cutest little baby dude!
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming out of lurking status to leave me a comment. :) First may I say that baby dude is soooooo adorable!!! I'm so sorry that BF is not going well - I feel your pain. I can tell you that I have felt so much more comfortable and less stressed with pumping instead of breastfeeding directly. I feel like my time with him is far more soothing to him this way. I've been using the 5S suggestions too although I haven't read the book. Most of the time sucking and swinging will calm him down. Hope it works!
ReplyDeleteHi honey,
ReplyDeleteI will try to give some advice but my experience in Australia is a bit different. Here we have community centres which have nurses and you can go there in person to get some advice. I had one come to my home which really helped. No one else has said this so I'm just going to. Some babies just need a dummy, they are suckaholics. Do you find him sucking his fingers a lot? Not everyone agrees with them but it was a great settler for us. She has perfect teeth btw!
Also to help with the day/night mix-up-can you put him in 2 separate places to sleep? Mine used to sleep in the pram a lot during the day. Car ride is good but you can't do it all the time. So maybe get him used to a walk in the pram? This generally knocks them out at this age and is easier on you. Finally, the baby sling. Do you have one? This is another place he can go to sleep/settle which frees up your hands for a moment and especially is comforting for him as it feels a bit more like the womb.
I also agree heaps with swaddling. Right now he just wants to feel like he is back inside you.
PLEASE don't feel bad if you start to introduce formula. You can combine both for awhile and maybe pump if you need to? This is not a failure. He will be fine without BF. Let me put it this way, BF is great, but his nutrition throughout the next 18 years or however long he lives with you is just as important. You will keep him healthy and happy no matter how you feed him!
email me if you need.
love,
PS. Gorgeous pic!!
ReplyDeleteaww.. big hugs! Those first 6 weeks or so are the hardest!! You're still figuring everything out and they are changing constantly!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, do not beat yourself up over the brestfeeding! I know its easier said then done, but if you've tried everything and its causing you that much stress then its not good for either of you! Did you look into any LLL meetings? I know you said you live in the middle of nowhere... but you never know! Does your hospital have any sort of meetings or help?
Crying is SO hard... a few thoughts off the top of my head. First is your diet may be upsetting him since you are breastfeeding. Secondly is maybe gas? I know sometimes Eirik got some nasty gas. We actually gave him some gripe water occasionally to try and help with the gas. http://www.colicease.com/ Third would be possibly reflux... but you'd have to go to see your doctor if you're concerted about that. Do you have any sort of baby carrier? I found that it soothed eirik a lot to be carried about in a carrier... the motion of it and being close to me. It meant i could carry him and be hands free.
Good luck! I know, its tough, but i do promise things will get better! He's such a little cutie. =)
You have the cutest little baby, I swear. I know I say that to all the moms out there, but I mean it every time I say it.
ReplyDeleteYou have some very good advice already so I'm just going to throw in my quick 2 cents. I'm not a mom, but I know how frustrating it can be to try and soothe a baby that can't tell you exactly what he is feeling. All new moms go through it. You will learn as you go and you will be able to tell what each cry means.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Mothering is not easy. Your hormones are still a bit whacky, I'm sure. You are learning something new and it is hands on learning at its best (worst?). There is no manual or set standard for what you are trying to do. It will be trial and error and you will master it. It just takes time to figure things out.
As for the B/F, I don't know many new moms that have had it easy. You should do what is right for your family and what will give you peace of mind (and sanity). If that means supplementing formula a few times or switching completely, then so be it. You should never feel badly about making a choice that eases your struggles. It's not like you are choosing not to feed your child. You would be choosing a less stressful (but just as good) method. And it's ok.
I just hate to think of you being so upset right now when I know that all you want to do is enjoy your Baby Dude. I hope you get to feeling better about things soon. Hang in there, I know you are doing a great job.
Baby dude is just too cute! I'm sorry the BF isn't going as well as you'd hoped. Since Colton was bottle fed from birth, I don't have any advice there. I do know when he was really fussy that he loved being rocked in the rocker/recliner or being held with me standing up and kind of swaying back and forth. I do think I remember him being pretty fussy when he was going through a growth spurt too though, if that makes you feel any better. You're still in that dazed/exhausted/crazy hormone state of the first few weeks...I promise it'll start getting better and baby dude will start kind of getting in more of a pattern too which will help everything. :)
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're doing a great job hon! I know it's so sad, frustrating, & confusing at the beginning. The baby blues compound the issue and the sleep deprevation doesn't help either. I wish I had some magic answer for you. It sounds like you are running down the list just like you should...there's not much else to be done. Over time he will get more comforted by you and you'll learn more ways to distract him. Hang in there, it does get better.
ReplyDeleteKylie was also very fussy in the beginning. You may ask your ped to test his dirty diaper for microscopic blood. For us a lot of her fussiness turned out to be her food sensativities to dairy and soy and I didn't realize that 50% of babies have dairy sensativity to some degree. The blood wasn't visable to the naked eye but showed up in this very inexpensive test. All our doc has us do is drop off the dirty diaper, no appointment needed. It made things SO much better when I stopped eating soy and dairy. She had tons of colic symptoms before that and while they didn't disapear they did get much, much better.
On the b/f subject, I'm so sorry it's being a struggle! You are certainly not a failure if you go to formula exlusivly. If you think it would help you feel better about stopping b/f to give the LC one shot I say it's worth the hour drive. Then if/when you do stop you know you gave it every last ditch effort and maybe won't be so hard on yourself.
Lot of {{{HUGS}}} I know us IF girls are particularly hard on ourselves when everything isn't going perfectly. You are doing great!!!
Is he mainly fussy towards the end of the day? Between 3 weeks and 12 weeks, babies may go through a period of fussiness at night. Basically the stimulation of the day is starting to overwhelm them and they are trying to calm their nervous system down. Gracious is definitely going through it. You are not alone and it is perfectly normal. I too am going to recommend Happiest Baby on the Block. Since reading is hard to do, you can get the DVD on Netflix. I did this for my DH because he is not much of a reader.
ReplyDeleteI started going to a Mom Support group which has helped a ton because I am finding out that I am not alone in some of my concerns. Is there something like that in your community?
Breastfeeding is very hard! Everyday I question whether or not I want to continue. Some days are good and some are bad. The main thing is that you have to do what is best for you and Baby Dude. Follow your instincts and you will make the best decision for you.
Baby Dude is precious!!! Good luck!!
I'm sorry Leslie. I wish I had some advice on the b/f front but I don't.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a vibrating bouncy chair? K loves hers, and even sometimes at nearly 4 months when she gets fussy it will help calm her down.
Your little guy is adorable.
Not sure if this is still a problem but the "Happiest Baby on the Block" video worked wonders for us. We didn't find it till our daughter was about 8 weeks and it still worked
ReplyDelete