I have never been the best with making decisions (except at work-for some reason at work I have no problem making decisions.) However, I have decided after my surgery this coming Friday that I am done with breastfeeding. I will not be able to b/f for at least 24 hours afterwards, and will need to pump & discard during that time. I still need to decide whether or not I will continue to pump or go 100% to formula. I am leaning towards formula with going back to work in less than four weeks. I think with our struggles, making it almost eight weeks is not too bad and I have tried so much to make this work. I will not deny that I feel guilty but in the end, I think it will be the best, which is what is most important. I especially feel guily as Baby Dude likes to b/f for comfort as he always falls asleep. We have been debating about switching formulas so we just have to figure out which one is best and will minimize his gassiness / fussiness. We have our two month appt in two weeks so we can always ask then if needed.
Why is this such a hard decision to make? I know I should not feel guilty as I know formula will be ok. And i know i should not feel like a failure but i do. Maybe part of me thinks he prefers to b/f despite our struggles. I can not personally continue to struggle like we have. It stresses me out which then stresses him out. Ugh... I really wanted this to work. It is going to break my heart when he does his rooting reflex ...
((((sigh))))
It is such a difficult decision - but don't let yourself feel too guilty. 8 weeks is better than nothing - and he's not going to remember these days anyways, only you are! Switching to formula was hard for me - but Henry took it like a champ, and I was able to be a better mom because I wasn't so stressed about having all the feeding duties! Whatever decision you make - Baby Dude will still grow happy and healthy and love you!!
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't feel like a failure, though I know it's hard. You should do whatever makes you and baby dude as happy as possible!
ReplyDeleteYou could always continue to BF when you ARE home, if you feel bad because Baby Dude loves it. Your body will adjust and stop making much milk during the day while you're at work (so you won't have to pump) and will just make it while you're at home with him. You can keep it as a comfort thing for him and still give him formula. BFing is so much more than just nourishment, as I can see you already recognize. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Lauren. My doctor advised me that bub could continue to comfort nurse as long as we both wanted. She preferred the bottle though, honestly. I had a really minimal supply and tried quite a few things to increase it. I stopped around 8 weeks too and she immediately started sleeping through after that. It may have just been a coincidence but I think it was a huge effort for both of us having her do both-breastfeed first, then bottle. Bottle only was less exhausting for her. The benefit of hindsight is what helped me the most. At the time it was hard but as she got bigger and stayed healthy, with few infections and didn't become overweight, I relaxed. She is also pretty smart! So just keep in mind as he thrives on formula I think you'll feel better.
ReplyDeleteTake care after your surgery.
xxxooo
I know its hard not to feel guilty, but you shouldn't! You've tried everything and if you're more stressed out by breastfeeding then not thats a bad thing! As Lauren said you can always breastfeed while giving formula. There is no reason you have to stop cold turkey. He can still get the comfort he needs and you can get the peace of mind and relaxation you need!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your surgery!! i hope it all goes smoothly!
You are going through a lot! so don't feel bad.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you! and hoping your recovery will be super fast a smooth.
Much love!
Leslie, we went through the same thing & my emotions were a mirror image of yours now. Baby Dude will be a healthy boy no matter which route you choose to go and sometimes the peace of mind of no feeding struggles more than make up for the guilt you feel. We put Will on formula at 3.5 months and he never noticed anything different. Good luck with your decision - I know it's a hard one for you!
ReplyDeleteI hope your surgery went well on Friday! It sounds to me like you are doing the best thing for the both of you, and that is the most important thing!
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