The MFMs office called me this afternoon and gave me some not so great news. The genetic counselor explained that based on the scan & the bloodwork results, I have a 1 in 5 chance of having a chromosomal issue. This means there is still an 80% chance everything will be ok but the normal ratio for my age is 1 in 60 or 90 (I can not remember) so my risk is much higher than average. The options we have are a) to have a newly developed blood test done (maternal 21 I think it is called) which only looks at downs, trisomy 13 & 18; b) to have an amniocentesis done or c) not to do anything but future ultrasounds.
After talking with my DH, we have decided to go forward with the amnio. We think it is the best for us personally to have more information on whether there is an issue or not. The amnio is the only thing that will give us more certainty about what is going on and *hopefully* allow us to relax and enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy. Although we have discussed what ifs, I do not like thinking about them and am afraid to talk about them openly in fear of offending someone or having someone I do not know chime in with their opinions if they differ from mine. I should be able to talk about them openly -- it is too bad I have to watch what I am saying on my space. But I am going to out of respect for others and to minimize my stress levels if someone gets upset with my thoughts.
I have cried quite a bit this afternoon but I want to say how lucky I am for my little boy & my DH! My little boy's smile made my day when I picked him up from daycare and my DH always helps to calm me down. He sent me flowers at work today too for Mother's Day - as we will not be able to be together on Sunday!! They are beautiful.
In the end, I know whatever the results come out to be, at this point it is out of my control. I just have to figure out a way to get through the next few weeks as the amnio can not be done until 16 weeks (and I am 13w3d today per my IUI date.) I am going to call tomorrow to schedule.
*Note* - If you do not agree with amnios, I respect your opinions so I ask that you respect mine. You may feel differently and may approach this differently than me. This is the way that my DH and I have personally decided to proceed. I am in no way writing this blog post to offend anyone. It is my personal story.
{{{HUGS}}} I hope you get confirmation from the amnio that everything is perfect!!! It must be so hard to talk about the possibilities. I'm sorry you don't feel like you can talk about that...but I understand. No one should judge someone else's decisions here...I hope you know that I NEVER would and if you want to chat you know where to find me =)
ReplyDeleteI would do the same thing you are. I hope that the results of the amnio are good!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I'm so, so, so sorry you're dealing with this. We just went thru some rough times after our NT. Ultimately we lost one of our twins bc of what we suspect was chromosomal abnormalities. Second, I would take the same path you're taking. Having solid results will help you make the most educated decision. Third, I am hear if you want to talk. I am praying and hoping your results will be far different from ours but having just recently gone thru something similar, I can relate to many of the emotions you're having. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are going through this. I will keep praying for the great results you are going to get. Your decisions are yours...and you are doing what's best for your family.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to let you know that something very similar happened to my coworker. She had the amnio and everything was fine, but she went through so much with the doctor's making her worried it was awful. Hope the next few weeks go by fast and you have excellent results!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry the news wasn't more positive. I would definitely have taken the same steps you are and I'm thinking of you as you go through this wait. Hoping very much that you fall on the right side of the statistics. Sending much love your way.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry I am not writing individual responses. I wanted to say thank you for all of your support and +++ thoughts. It helps so much.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you are in a bit of a limbo right now. I dare anyone to judge you for your decisions in this matter but I understand that people have very different opinions. I think it's a good idea to find out everything you can so that you can be prepared for whatever path you take. Knowledge is power. Hang in there...I'm hoping along with you and everyone else that the tests come back fine and dandy.
ReplyDeleteI also would do the same thing you are. Peace of mind is worth a lot! Hoping you get nothing but good results.
ReplyDeleteOh Leslie, I'm so sorry. :( I'll be praying for good news! I'm sure you must be so nervous... I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that the NT results weren't more positive for you. I would do the amnio as well, to me it's important to be informed and know for sure so you can make the right decision for your family. No on should have the right to judge you for that, especially in your own space, but we all know what the Internet is like unfortunately. You'll be in my thoughts and I'm hoping with everything that the 80% chance of great news is exactly what you hear in a few weeks! Much love coming your way!!
ReplyDeleteThank you again. I can not say thank you enough! I am again sorry I am not writing individual responses. I am at work and as you can see, not concentrating like I should be!
ReplyDeleteLeslie... I am so sorry. FWIW, we would do the exact same thing. I'll be thinking of you over the next couple of weeks. Hug on that boy of yours lots and lots and also lean on your fabulous DH to help you get through this. And for anyone out there that has any opinions on what you should or shouldn't be doing - fuck them. Do what's best for you and your family. Period.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are having to go through this time of worry and uncertainty. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing! And PLEASE PLEASE remember that genetic testing is just a guess at what *MIGHT* be happening to your baby. It is very, very likely that your baby is totally normal. The genetic testing is only an indicator that you *MIGHT* have a problem based on your own genetic makeup. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong! You are just getting all the information you can. Remember that you already had a healthy baby once before, so chances are you will do it again! Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteSending my hugs your way!
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