I took a big step this week and made an appointment with a therapist. I have thought about it and considered it since our loss, but after breaking down in front of of both my OB & my RE, and with their encouragement, I decided I really should. I realized I can not process all of these thoughts about our loss and the relationship struggles I am having with my parents. My RE recommended one who specializes in pregnancy loss. I talked to her on the phone briefly and she sounds really nice. I do not meet with her until 8/23 though as scheduling is quite difficult for me with my DH out of town so much. But, at least I made the step to schedule it! My inlaws will be coming to visit on 8/23 for the weekend and will pick up my little guy from daycare so that I can go to the appt after work. The woman I am speaking with called me today to also recommend a support group closer to where I live. She is over an hour from where I live (but 40 minutes from where I work.) She runs a support group where she works but it is just too hard for me to make their meetings. I was bummed as they had one this past Tuesday. I would have loved to have gone but hopefully this one closer to my house will work out. I have a friend who has offered to baby sit Aaron in the past so maybe I can ask her again if I need to.
Just hope I can keep up my nerve to really go to it in 4 weeks. I am really nervous! I have never done this before and am not usually one that is comfortable talking about myself to a stranger. There will be quite a bit of pre-appt anxiety I am sure.
If you have any pre-therapy advice or any therapy/counseling experiences, I would love to hear. I know each therapist is probably different in the way they do things, but it is always nice to hear what others have experienced.
I should be going to bed!
~ Miss you, my sweet Ethan! Always thinking of you & love you with all my heart!
~ Love you, my little guy! Aaron - you are my sunshine!!! I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for all that you have done for me!
Hi, I know nothing about infertility or loss but I am a veteran of therapy. Congratulations for taking the first step, you definitely did the right thing. My advice for you is to pick three main things you want to talk about (more becomes overwhelming, and other things will come up over time). Then ask the therapist how they approach therapy, what their methods are, and whether they have had experience with clients with similar issues. Don't be afraid to challenge or question your therapist, ever. Remember, they are just people too. Pay attention to how comfortable you feel, and if you feel like you are able to tell the whole truth or whether you feel like you are trying to 'paint a picture' of yourself that is different from what you know is reality. These can be warning signs that you haven't found the right fit for you. It can also be helpful to set some goals -they can be small or large, but it's helpful in feeling like you are accomplishing something.
ReplyDeleteGood luck
I think you will find it really helpful talking to someone about all of this, especially someone who is SUPPOSED to sit and listen to it all. I'm glad you're taking this step!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. It has been recommended to me to do the same, but I haven't made that step yet. I hope you feel better afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI used to go to a therapist for ADHD until I decided I was ready to deal with it myself. The worst part is not knowing what to expect, but it's not bad. There's nothing to prepare for, and it can be a nice change to have someone listen and not judge.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs for you Leslie... its so hard to make the call and go talk to someone. I just did this myself and though it was tough I know it'll help me and my family! Is nice to be able to talk without being judged and even just after my first session the therpaist picked out on key things I said and helped me really think about things. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI've been seeing an infertility and pregnancy loss therapist since my miscarriage last September, and she has really saved me! I couldn't imagine going through all of that without her. I stayed with her through my other IUI cycles, my IVF cycle, and now through my pregnancy and it's just SO COMFORTING to have someone to talk to who doesn't judge and understands what you're going through. I think it will really help you in your healing process. Just take it slow, tell her your story, and let the conversation evolve from there. You will know if you feel like you click with her or not.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any therapy experience myself, but I think it sounds like a great idea! You have suffered such a huge loss I think it only makes sense to go to someone who can let you talk it out. Maybe she'll have some suggestions on how to deal with your parents during this time too.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Remember that you can talk about as much or as little as you want at both therapy and support groups.
ReplyDeleteHi, I just found your blog and am so sorry for your recent loss.
ReplyDeleteTherapy is a good thing, as it is a safe place to talk about your feelings. Lord knows I shed some tears there and was able to express things that I felt others might judge. Hope your therapist is a good fit.
Sending you positive thoughts during this time of healing.